Cover Art By Tango

By LadyKate

As she unharnessed Argo, Gabrielle looked out at the blazing stillness of the river; Xena stood hip-deep in the water waiting for unsuspecting fish, her silhouette black on gold. The splashing of water, mingled with the murmur of leaves and the buzz of cicadas from the woods, added to the evening's quiet. This would be a good place to camp until they moved on to Megara.

"You're taking care of the horses, right?”

Jostled out of her contemplation, Gabrielle turned to Ares. She must have looked as nasty as she felt, enough for him to raise his hands in a defensive gesture.

"What, what? I'm off to gather firewood.”

"Fine," she muttered, watching as he threw off his vest and headed into the woods. That was Ares all over -- to assume that just because she was taking care of Argo she was also going to take care of Dragon (that stupid name! ). Maybe, under other circumstances, it wouldn't have been an unreasonable assumption -- but.... Mechanically brushing Argo's warm flanks, Gabrielle wondered if there was any chance Ares would stay in Megara. Why not? He'd be much better off in a big city than wandering the countryside. She pursed her lips bitterly. Because he's sleeping with Xena, that's why not.

Dragon tossed his head and snorted in displeasure when Gabrielle began to undo his harness.

"Easy, boy," she said, trying not to show her irritation. Dragon displayed his by stamping his foot a couple of times, barely missing her toes.

"Need a hand?”

Xena was striding out on the riverbank in her tunic, holding up three trout, rivulets of water sparkling on her strong graceful legs.

"I'll be fine.”

"Look, you could clean the fish and I could -- “

"I said I'll be fine.”

After brushing down Dragon, Gabrielle watered the horses and led them back to the edge of clearing where they could be left to graze. She snapped off Argo's bridle and was turning toward Clio when Dragon swung his tail and whipped it across her face.

It didn't hurt much, but it took her by surprise; Gabrielle stumbled and landed hard on her behind. Dragon snorted again and gave a short, gleeful neigh. She opened her eyes, spitting out strands of horse hair, and found herself looking at Ares, who was standing there with a bundle of sticks in his arms and -- was that a smirk? That son of a --

"Are you all right?" Xena called out.

"Fine." Gabrielle was taken aback by the shrillness of her own voice. She was not losing her temper over this. She scrambled to her feet, glared at Ares and stomped off toward Xena, who was almost finished gutting the trout.

"There, all done," Xena said brightly, shaking off her hands. "I can make the fire -- “

"No, you get some rest. I'll take care of it.”

She couldn't resist sneaking a look at Ares. He had taken off Dragon's bridle and was patting the horse's muzzle.

"All right." Xena got up, her eyes shifting furtively from Gabrielle to Ares and back. "I think I'll go for a swim before it gets dark." Obviously wanting some time to herself.

"Have fun.”

Gabrielle watched as Xena strode toward the water's edge, pulled off her tunic and waded in. She sighed and set about kindling the fire.

Ares came up and stretched out nearby, propping himself on an elbow. Gabrielle drove a spit through a fish and gave him a sideways glance. He was chewing on a blade of grass, gazing in the direction of the river where Xena splashed in the distance, hardly bigger than a dot on the glittering water.

She was about to skewer the second trout when she threw it down, turned toward Ares and blurted out, "How long do you plan to hang around with us?”

He jerked his head up, and she saw a flash of apprehension in his face before the mask of nonchalant amusement slipped into place.

"Don't tell me you don't enjoy my company anymore.”

"Cut it out." Her voice shook slightly; she wasn't sure if she couldn't stop now, or didn't want to. "I'm serious. How much longer are you planning to hang around?”

"Who knows." Ares sat up. "Mortal life is short. One minute you're here and then" -- he snapped his fingers -- "you're gone." He glanced thoughtfully at his hands and then looked up at the gold-tinted clouds.

"You were supposed to travel with us for a few days until we found you a safe place.”

"I guess we just haven't found the right place yet.”

The knot of rage that had been building up inside her grew, pressing at her chest and her throat.

"Dammit, Ares! I want you to leave her alone.”

Ares gave her a long stare. She had nothing to lose now; neither, it occurred to her, did he.

"Sure," he said. "The moment she wants me to.”

That was too much.

"You know something?" Her voice was dripping venom, and she knew it. "All I have to do is say the word, and she'll kick you out.”

His lips twitched and he swallowed convulsively; she'd gotten to him this time. A part of her -- the foolish, sappy part -- almost felt sorry for him, but Gabrielle quickly slapped it down.

"Then why don't you?" he snapped, momentarily leaving her speechless.

"Maybe I want to give you a chance," she said at last. "You could walk away with some dignity." She felt her cheeks flush, and wondered if he could tell she was lying.

Ares bit his lip and lowered his eyes. When he looked up again, his expression was defiant and sarcastic.

"You're not sure, are you?”

"Not sure of what?”

"Not sure she'll kick me out if you tell her.”

"Xena loves me," she said fiercely. "We're everything to each other. She doesn't need you. What can you give her that I can't?”

She watched with horror as a deliberate lewd grin spread across his face.

"Why, Gabrielle -- didn't your mother ever tell you about the difference between boys and -- “

"Stop it!" Gabrielle hissed. "Don't you even -- " She heard him chuckle, and noticed that she was ripping out clumps of grass.

"She doesn't need you," she said again.

"Maybe she does." Even without looking, she could tell that this time he was serious. "Maybe I'm the only one who accepts her completely, just as she is.”

"What are you talking about? I accept her -- there was a time when I didn't -- but now -- “

"Do you really? What if I told you that one time, back in the old days, when she captured an enemy who had really pissed her off, she ripped off his balls and stuffed them down his throat until he choked to death?”

Gabrielle fought back the surge of nausea; she could feel herself turning a ghastly green.

"She didn't...”

He chuckled again. "As a matter of fact, no. Not that I know of." He sounded almost regretful, though she was not sure that it wasn't an act. "I've seen it done, mind you. Some of the Amazons -- “

"All right, spare me the details," she interrupted. He was trying to rattle her, and it was working. Shuddering inwardly, she wondered if Amazons really did such things.

"Anyway -- you should have seen the look on your face just now.”

"What look?”

"Well, let's just say -- it wasn't an -- " he raised his voice -- "oh, I love everything about Xena kind of look. ”

"And you would have loved it if she had done that, wouldn't you.”

"Would I..." He trailed off, looking into the distance. "I'd never judge her.”

Gabrielle was silent for a moment. She had to think about this, to find the answer -- not just for Ares but for herself.

Finally, she said, "Maybe if I hadn't been willing to judge her sometimes, she wouldn't have stayed on her true path.”

"Her true path," he repeatedly slowly, as if trying out a foreign language. "Oh yeah -- redeeming herself for her evil past." Once again, his voice went up to a mocking falsetto. "'Oh, I killed so many people -- the pain, the pain...'“

"So that's your idea of love. Making fun of -- “

" -- her guilt trip? Ever think that maybe it would be good for her if someone made fun of it once in a while? No, of course not. You're supposed to be her guiding light." He gave her a crooked grin. "You don't think your body count is getting a little too high for the part?”

The chill went straight through her, settling in the pit of her stomach. Gabrielle remembered what she had said to Xena in Africa, when the nomads wanted to put her to death for killing that boy: You once prayed never to see the light go out in me. I just don't think there's much of that left in here. It frightened her to think that Ares understood her well enough to know just where to hit. But she wasn't giving in that easily.

"I don't think you want to start comparing body counts," Gabrielle said quietly.

"Who, me? I'm not claiming to be anyone's guiding light.”

"That's right -- you were the one trying to lure her back to the darkness all those years. To destroy everything she'd become." She had another thought. "What makes you think you deserve to be with her, Ares? After all the things you've done to her -- just because you did one unselfish thing in your whole existence...”

She expected him to argue that the one unselfish thing he had done was big enough to count for as many points as a mortal lifetime of good deeds; maybe even (she felt faint at the thought) to say something about the ways in which she herself had hurt Xena.

He got up and stared down at her. The orange sunset behind him made him seem even taller and darker than he was.

"No, I don't deserve her," he said gravely. "But as long as she wants to be with me..." He shrugged and bent down to pick up his vest, then looked at her again. "I belong here as much as you do.”

"I was here first.”

"Don't be so sure about that," he said, shrugging into his vest. "Remember, I knew her when you were still playing with your dollies in sunny Potadeia.”

That was true, Gabrielle thought dizzily; she knew next to nothing about Xena's history with Ares.

"You know, I was wrong about you," she said. "I thought you were almost a decent human being now. But you're still a bastard.”

"I'm crushed." For a moment, she could have almost forgotten that he was mortal; the cold nastiness of his smirk was all Ares, God of War. "If there was one thing I wanted out of my mortal life, it was to gain your approval. Oh well -- can't win 'em all.”

He walked past her and headed toward the woods, adding without turning his head, "Don't worry, I'll be back for dinner.”

Gabrielle jumped to her feet.

"Ares! ”

This time, he did turn.

"One of these days, you'll push me too far!”

"I look forward to that." Ares cocked his head, his eyes sliding over her. "Think you can kick my ass now that I'm mortal?”

"You sure you want to find out?”

"There you go, trying to solve your problems with violence." He clicked his tongue in mock disapproval. "See what I mean about that guiding-light thing?”

Gabrielle fought the impulse to scream and hurl herself at him. She sat down in the grass and glanced at her fists, then slowly unclenched them. Numbly, she watched as Ares walked away toward the trees.

* ~ * ~ *

When he was sure she couldn't see or hear him, Ares gave a frustrated yell and punched a tree. It hurt, of course.

He'd done it; he'd allowed Blondie to goad him into being nasty to her, and now it was an all-out war between them -- a war in which he was unlikely to fare very well. For all his posturing, he suspected that the little bitch was right; if it came down to a choice between him and her, he didn't stand a chance. Stupid, stupid, stupid... He wanted to bang his head on the tree but glanced at his bloodied hand and thought better of it. He sucked on his knuckles and walked on.

In the dusk, the woods were almost dark, with only the occasional patch of bright green where the sunlight touched the faded treetops. Ares walked along the narrow, grassy footpath, kicking the stones and sticks that got underfoot, his mind a jumble of anger and vague fear. At least he had kept his outward cool during his spat with Gabrielle, but it had cost him quite an effort, leaving him drained and battered inside. Was that what it took for Xena to maintain her self-control?

It was bad enough that he'd let the blonde get to him; some of the things he had said to her had gotten to him as well. Mortal life is short... He shivered. He had thought of it before, to be sure, but it was only occasionally that he really felt his mortality, and just then, that feeling had hit him at the worst possible time. One minute you're here and the next... He hadn't the slightest idea what had happened to Hades' domain, now that Hades was gone. Maybe the mysterious forces that had given Xena the power to slay gods had also taken over the afterworld. Maybe there was no more afterworld, just a vast gray emptiness where one's spirit floated for eternity -- or nothing at all.

He rubbed his bleeding fingers, as if to prove to himself that he was still alive.

There was something else, too. While taunting Gabrielle with the notion of a gruesome death Xena might have meted out to an enemy in her dark past, he'd had an all-too-vivid memory of watching one of the Amazon queens of old do exactly that, and had barely managed to keep from doubling over or at least squeezing his thighs together. He found himself thinking about it again. Some of his many enemies, no doubt, had very nasty things in store for him if he ever got himself captured. Maybe he would die screaming the way that man had screamed, howling like an animal, nothing human left in his voice.

He picked up a crooked stick and swung it at the branches hanging in his path. Mortals made such a big deal of compassion, yet it was really nothing but another kind of selfishness; you felt for someone else's suffering because you could imagine yourself in the poor bastard's place -- what the hell was so virtuous about that?

Stopping at the edge of a shallow stream, Ares knelt down and splashed water on his face. He wondered if Xena was back from her swim, and if Gabrielle was talking to her. Maybe it was already over. He told himself that he should be thankful for what she had given him. It was more than he deserved; the blonde was probably right about that. Maybe she was right about something else, too: if he walked out on his own instead of waiting to be ditched, he would at least salvage what was left of his pride. Except that, if he left now, he wouldn't really be leaving on his own -- he'd be letting Blondie kick him out and savor her victory. No way. Besides, the thought of losing Xena now hurt far worse than watching her walk away those other times.

Ares picked up the stick again and poked idly at the pebbles at the bottom of the brook. He closed his eyes, his head and his limbs heavy with misery.

There was a faint sound behind him, a swish that was hardly audible over the ripple of the brook and the loud rattle of cicadas.

"Hey, Slick," said a lilting female voice.

With a start, he turned around and stared, his mouth hanging open.

He hadn't seen Aphrodite since the night Xena battled the gods. When it was all over, the Goddess of Love had wandered into the Great Hall of Olympus, looking dazed and sad, and gazed at him and at Xena, Gabrielle and Eve, and at the dead Athena and Artemis on the floor, and finally said, "Maybe I should get you all out of here." She had taken them to a grassy beach somewhere, just as the first blush of dawn was breaking out over the sea, and vanished after a quick good-bye. Back then she had worn black, in mourning for her husband Hephaestus; now she was in her usual pink, except for the sleek black elbow-length gloves she had kept from her widow's weeds. She was smiling.

Ares got up. Even in the half-darkness, which her presence seemed to dispel somewhat, he could see how completely unblemished Aphrodite's skin was, how clear her blue eyes, how perfect her golden hair. There was a lump in his throat. So this was how it felt for a mortal to face a god.

"Sis," he said when he found his voice. "It's been a while.”

"Oh, Ar -- I've missed you!" She came up and reached out to stroke his cheek. "You look good. I mean, for a mortal.”

Her skin radiated a strange, steady warmth that wasn't quite of this world -- had Xena felt it too, touching him when he was still a god? The thought that his beautiful immortal sister might be checking out the lines on his face and the grey in his hair made him feverish with shame and resentment, and he backed away a little just as she held out her arms for a hug. Then it occurred to him that maybe this wasn't just a social visit. Maybe she was there to offer him his godhood back.

One bite of ambrosia. That would do it. The power would flow through his veins again. Mortal aches and afflictions -- he could feel each and every one of them now, from the hunger that was starting to tug at his insides to the stiffness in his muscles to the still-smarting scrapes on his knuckles -- all of that would be gone in a flash. Literally. Except --

Before he had a chance to think about what would happen to him and Xena, Aphrodite's voice cut into his musings.

"Hey, if you're thinking about ambrosia -- I'm sorry -- I'd give it to you in a heartbeat if it was up to me, but..." She shrugged and pouted. "Apollo and the others, they're still pretty pissed off at you, and you know how they are -- “

"That's all right," he said brusquely. "I don't want it. I'm fine, Sis." He wouldn't have taken it anyway. Certainly not.

Her face brightened in a delighted smile.

"Of course you are! You've got a thing going with the Warrior Babe. Well, it's about time, Bro!" She pinched his cheeks, ignoring his scowl. "That's, like, the best news I've had in ages! It's just so -- perfect!" She sighed contentedly at the darkening sky. "I'm so happy for you two lovebirds...”

Ares stared at her, chilled by a suspicion even more sickening than having his face scrutinized for traces of mortality.

"Wait a minute." He gripped Aphrodite's wrist hard enough to hurt had she been mortal. "Did you -- did you do something?”

"What are you talking about?" She frowned prettily.

"Did you do something -- so she would -- “

"Oh -- you mean, like zap her with a love bolt so she'd jump your bones?" Aphrodite giggled. "As if! Trust me, kiddo, she didn't need any divine intervention. Don't worry, it's the real thing. I know it when I see it -- give the Love Goddess some credit, will ya?”

Breathing hard, he let go of her wrist. She smoothed her glove and continued, "Of course, she loves her little bard too -- that kind of messes things up, doesn't it? I adore love triangles -- the drama... the excitement... the passions... ooh!" She squealed, then gave him a teasing nudge. "Now don't you let me down -- Cupie and I have a bet going about which one of you she'll end up -- “

"Dammit." He grabbed her shoulders this time, nearly choking. "This isn't one of your little games. It's my life.”

"Hey, take it easy!" Aphrodite wriggled free, an affronted look on her face. "I'm on your side here -- my bet's on you. I mean, I'm awfully fond of Gabrielle and all, but you're my big bro, right?" She smiled again, a picture of dimpled perfection. He could push her down in the brook, but it wouldn't do any good; she'd just get up, shake herself with a tinkling laugh, and dry off in the blink of an eye.

"I want you to be happy, Ar. You know I care about you. Come here." She hugged him and pressed her impossibly smooth lips to his cheek. After a moment's hesitation, he put his arms around his sister rather awkwardly. There was really no point in getting mad at her.

"Awww ... it's good to see you again, Bro. And like I said -- it's majorly cool that you and the Warrior Babe are together.”

If we still are, he thought gloomily.

"Good to see you too, Sis." Ares thought of asking how things were back on Olympus, but there was no point in that, either. He patted her silky hair. "I gotta go back.”

"Have a great time, stud. I know you will.”

Aphrodite held his hands for a moment, then scrunched up her face sympathetically and said, "Ooh.. look at that." She ran her palm over his scraped knuckles. Ares felt the warmth seep deliciously from her skin into his; in an instant the blood and the scratches were gone, and the pain too. So easy.

"Thanks, Sis." He squeezed her hands, hoping she wouldn't notice how wretched he was. She didn't.

"So long!" she sang out, stepping back. She blew him a kiss and was gone, just like that, in a dazzle of golden sparks.

Ares stood still for a while, watching the spot where she vanished. Then he began to walk back to the camp.

* ~ * ~ *

It was just a routine fight against a bunch of thugs who had waylaid an unlucky couple of travelers in a marshy part of the forest. In a few minutes, four of the bandits were down and two more were fleeing into the woods, with Xena in pursuit. The frightened travelers muttered quick thanks and scampered away as well.

Gabrielle was putting away her sword when she heard the noise. She turned around. One of the men, who had seemed just as dead as his pals, had sprung back to life and charged Ares. The two of them were wrestling now, panting and grunting, the man trying to grip Ares' throat, the former god trying to reach his dagger.

She stood still, watching.

The bandit managed to land a punch that sent Ares staggering backward, then picked up a sword and rushed at Gabrielle. She was ready for him with her sais, the twin daggers clanging against the metal of the blade, and it was over almost immediately.

She looked at Ares. He had lost his footing and stumbled into the swamp, where he was now more than knee-deep in the greenish muck, and sinking deeper as he struggled to pull out his legs.

"Gabrielle?" he said with fake nonchalance. "I could use a hand.”

She went over and got a large coil of rope from Clio's saddlebag, then came up to the very edge of solid ground and stopped, no more than two paces from him.

"Funny, isn't it, Ares. I'm the only thing standing between you and the bottom of this swamp. And you're the only thing standing between me and the woman I love.”

"Very funny." Underneath the bravado, she could hear the nervous note creeping into his voice.

"Don't you have a good one-liner for the occasion?”

"Dammit, throw me the rope," he said through clenched teeth.

"Is that the best you can do? I'm disappointed.”

Ares was panting, his face drenched in sweat, his eyes wide with terror. He made another futile effort to free himself.

"You know, Ares," she said, "I told you that one of these days you were going to push me too far. You should have listened.”

"You're just trying to scare me.”

"I think it's working." She chuckled and twirled the end of the rope.

"You crazy little bitch," he snarled. "I saved your life!”

She wrinkled her nose. "That's right. What did you say it was? Oh yeah -- an afterthought. Well, Ares... remember how you told me I'd always be a goody-two-shoes? If I was, I'd probably be grateful. I must've gotten over that.”

There was a pause, punctuated only by Ares' ragged breaths. Then he threw his head back and yelled, "Xeeeenaaaaa!”

Some startled birds flew up from the trees.

"I guess she's still out chasing the bad guys," Gabrielle said placidly.

The swamp had him up to his waist now. His lips were trembling, tears running down his face and mingling with rivulets of sweat.

"Gabrielle," he said in a rasping whisper. "Please. Please. I don't want to die like this.”

She sighed in exasperation.

"Oh come on, Ares. Go out with a little dignity. You know, being the former God of War and all.”

With a grunt, Ares lunged forward and somehow managed to grab the end of a long, vine-like branch of a fallen tree. Gabrielle watched as he started to pull himself up. She shook her head.

"Ares, Ares, Ares. Why do you have to make everything so difficult?" She looked around, picked up his sword and walked toward the tree. "I guess I'll have to give you a hand after all.”

She tugged at the branch to make sure she had the right one and raised the sword.

"Is that what you're into now? Cold-blooded murder?”

She gave a high-pitched giggle.

"Now that's funny, Ares. Coming from you, I mean. And what you did to Eli -- that was what, a fair fight?”

Biting her lip in concentration, she hacked at the branch.

"No." He could barely force the word out of his throat. "No.”

Gabrielle paused and tilted her head.

"Hmm. Maybe you do deserve a chance. Tell you what, let's try a quiz.”

"Huh?”

"I'm going to recite some lines of poetry and you tell me who wrote it. You get it wrong - I take a whack at the branch. You get it right -- I let you pull yourself up a little. You make a move without my permission and -- " She made a chopping motion.

"You're nuts.”

She giggled again.

"Sticks and stones ... What, you don't want to play? Then I can start right now." She took a swing.

"Okay ... okay!" he gasped. "Go ahead.”

"All right then. Let's see." She pressed a finger to her forehead. "How about ..." She recited in a dramatic sing-song:

"There is one race of men, one race of gods. Although a common Mother gave us life, Our lot is most unequal: Man is nothing, And the Gods will dwell forever in their home In the eternal skies as strong as brass.

Well?”

For a moment, rage flashed in his eyes, before fear set in again.

"I'm counting to five, Ares." She was poised to strike. "One -- two -- “

He licked his lips.

"Sophocles?”

Thwack.

"Wrong, Ares. The correct answer is" -- she smiled brightly -- "Pindar. Pindar of Thebes. Great stuff, isn't it? Well ... let's try something easier, okay?

The whole village weeps at your funeral pyre, O brave warrior, For in the chaos and horror of battle --”

"Anacreon," he broke in hastily. "Yeah. Anacreon.”

"Huh-huh-huh." She wagged a finger. "I haven't finished yet.

For in the chaos and horror of battle, Blood-loving Ares has never slaughtered a more fearless youth.

You're right -- that was Anacreon. Go on, pull yourself up. A little." She watched as he moved his hands, one and then the other, and made a desperate effort to free himself from the mire. "That's enough. Okay, let's see... ooh -- here's a really good one.

Some women may be timorous, and fearful To even look at battle or cold steel; But when the offense is to their marriage bed, No mind can be more murderous than theirs.”

"Stop it." He was wheezing, his voice barely audible.

She shook her head. "Sorry, Ares, I've never even heard of a poet named Stopit. For your information (thwack), that was Euripides.”

The branch was annoyingly strong but it wasn't going to hold out much longer, and Ares' thrashing around wasn't helping him, either; he was submerged almost to his armpits. His hands were probably raw and bleeding by now. Just another whack or two and --

A hand came down on her shoulder and Xena's voice said, "Gabrielle?”

* ~ * ~ *

She blinked hard. "Uh, I -- Xena -- uh -- I -- what?”

"Whoa." Xena shook her head, spraying her with a fine mist of water. "Look at the fish.”

Gabrielle rubbed her eyes and took a deep breath. It was almost dark now, the clouds in the west a deep purplish gray. The campfire was flickering low.

"I'm sorry, I was just -- I was thinking and..." Gabrielle trailed off and watched as Xena added more wood to the fire and removed the skewers with the charred remains of the trout. Just as she wondered if Ares was back, she heard the grass rustle, and Xena said, "Where were you?”

"Just walking around," Ares said casually and came closer. "Hey, is that what's left of dinner?”

"Yeah," Xena said.

"Oh great.”

Gabrielle raised her eyes. There they were, standing shoulder to shoulder in the reddish glow of the campfire, inspecting her handiwork, united in their disapproval.

"That's right, it's all my fault," she snapped miserably.

"Hey, hey -- it's no big deal," Xena said. "We have bread and we've still got some of that salted beef. That will do just fine." She put a comforting hand on Gabrielle's arm. "Don't worry about it, okay?”

As they sat around the campfire, Gabrielle listlessly crumpled the stale bread, feeling faintly sick. She had meant only to vent her frustration by imagining a scene in which she could have Ares at her mercy and toy with him for a while -- and then, somehow, her fantasy self had turned into a monster, a person who would not only murder a rival in cold blood but torment him with a maniacal glee that was chillingly reminiscent of ... Callisto. Of course she could have never done anything like this in real life; still, she it gave her goose bumps to think that an inner Callisto lurked somewhere in the depths of her imagination. Gabrielle bit into the leathery beef. She didn't want to think about it anymore.

"Hey Ares," she said. "Do you know any poetry?”

"Mph -- what?" He swallowed a mouthful and gave her a bewildered look. "Poetry? Why?”

"Just curious," she said. "There's this one poem that starts, 'There is one race of men, one race of gods,/Although a common Mother gave us life,/Our lot is -- '“

With a start, she realized that on the last words, his voice had joined hers. She stopped as he continued in an oddly hollow voice, staring at the dying flames:

" -- most unequal: Man is nothing, And the gods will dwell forever in their home In the eternal skies as strong as brass.”

His voice shook a bit.

"Yet we can bear some likeness to immortals By the greatness of our mind or of our heart, Though we know not, wandering by day and night, What destination Fate has set for us.”

There was a long silence after that, and the low crackling of the fire, and the river's lulling burble, and the harsh cry of a night-bird far away. The look in Ares' eyes was distant and unreadable in the fading firelight; then he met Gabrielle's stare, and his expression turned hard and bitter, his mouth tightening. Still in shock from the former War God's cultural literacy, she felt irritated at him and vaguely disgusted with herself. It was nothing like her nightmarish daydream, to be sure; but she had deliberately hurt him, and that was bad enough.

Ares threw down the rest of his bread and beef and got up.

"I'm going to sleep.”

As he walked away and began to unroll his blankets, Xena turned to Gabrielle and shook her head. Taking his side, Gabrielle thought resignedly. But there was no anger or reproach in Xena's eyes, only sorrow, and something like a mute apology.

* ~ * ~ *

Xena couldn't sleep for a while. She lay on her back with her eyes open, staring at the black star-dotted sky. It was very dark, the ruby-tinged moon a mere sliver that soon slipped away under a cloud. Nearby, she could hear Ares' sharp, slightly irregular breaths; he was obviously pretending to be asleep, only he hadn't been mortal long enough to do it convincingly. A dull ache was tugging on her heart. That stupid poem had really gotten to him … she wished she could crawl over and hold him close, or at least hold his hand… only she could tell that Gabrielle wasn't sleeping either, quietly as she lay in her bedroll. Gabrielle had been so edgy the whole evening… and no wonder. What am I doing to Gabrielle… that thought, always present somewhere in her mind, surfaced for a moment and made her shut her eyes. If only there was some way to end it without destroying them all.

Eventually, her thoughts became a jumble of shifting words and images, dissolving into each other and into a thick haze, and she began to lose herself in restless sleep. Then she was on that hill by the Amazon village where she said good-bye to Ares after his run-in with the Furies, and she was touching his battered face and his deep dark eyes were smiling at her, as gentle as the farewell glow of the sun; he was safe from the Furies now, but her gladness was bittersweet because she knew she had to leave him. They were talking and smiling at each other, their hands clasped, and all of a sudden he was shaking her by the shoulder and saying in an insistent whisper, "Xena -- Xena!”

With a start, she opened her eyes in the darkness and felt the grip of a hand on her shoulder.

"Xena," Gabrielle whispered. "Wake up.”

"Umm -- what?”

"We need to talk.”

She sat up, fully awake. That was it; she knew it. She felt no pain, not yet.

Stealthily, Xena followed Gabrielle away from the campsite, under the cover of the trees. They stopped and hugged and stood still, Gabrielle's head nestled on Xena's breast, Xena's cheek resting on Gabrielle's warm hair. Then Gabrielle's shoulders shuddered slightly, and she pulled back and said in a half-whisper, "Xena -- I can't -- “

Xena cut her off. "I have to send him away.”

Gabrielle exhaled sharply and slumped in her arms.

"I can't go on like this anymore. I just -- “

"I'm sorry." She kissed the top of Gabrielle's head. "I'm so sorry, sweetheart. This is so wrong -- I should have never -- “

"Shh." Gabrielle lifted up her face and quickly pressed her lips to Xena's. "You don't need to explain ... I'm not blaming you. I just want things to go back --." She gave a small sigh that came out almost as a whimper. "I know it's not going to be the way it was -- but I want it to be just the two of us together...”

"I know... I know. It's going to be all right.”

"He can stay in Megara. He'll be okay. Xena, I know you -- “

"Gabrielle." Xena took Gabrielle's face in her hands, touching the dampness of her cheeks. "You always come first for me, remember that. No matter what. Forever." For a fleeting, delirious instant, she wondered if it was still true.

"I'll tell him tomorrow," she said abruptly.

They held each other, and Xena wanted to shut out everything except the warmth of Gabrielle's body in her arms, the feel and smell of her hair, Gabrielle's soft breath on her neck. She felt numb inside, except for a vague tenderness that hurt somewhere deep in her chest. She wondered if she should be relieved, now that she no longer had to make a decision. Somehow, they'd survive it -- they all would.

Their lips met again, and Xena felt Gabrielle's breaths grow husky as the kiss lingered. She stroked Gabrielle's hair and pulled away.

"Come on," she said, and they headed back to camp.

* ~ * ~ *

When the glare of the sun and the clanking of the cooking pot woke her up, Gabrielle had barely slept. Her body felt stiff, her skin crawling with nervous tension as they ate their modest breakfast and packed their things away in nearly complete silence. Ares looked glum and haggard; Xena's face was rigidly blank, but there were faint darkish circles under her eyes. It would be over soon, Gabrielle told herself, but the thought brought her no comfort.

She would feel better once it was over, she thought as she tugged irritably at the straps of Clio's harness. Clio shook her mane and looked at her sideways, then turned and nuzzled her shoulder. Gabrielle gave the mare a quick, mechanical pat on the neck and fastened the saddlebags. Would it really be over, or would Xena be looking for any excuse to visit Megara? Maybe that wouldn't be so bad. Maybe she could deal with Xena visiting Ares occasionally, as long as she had her day-to-day life with Xena back.

They rode away from the camp, taking a shortcut through the forest to reach the road to Megara. The trees were alive in the gentle breeze, the sunlight a scattering of silver on the leaves and the ground; but on this morning, the sights and smells and sounds of the woods did little to soothe Gabrielle's nerves as she rode behind Xena on the narrow path and felt Ares' eyes on her back. She wondered if he knew what was coming.

She didn't wish him ill; of course she didn't. He'd be all right in Megara. In a bustling city like that, anybody could blend in -- even a former god. Blend in? She snorted. One might as well expect him to get a job in an orphanage.

The edge of the forest was near, patches of bright blue sky already peeking through the trees. Ares being Ares, Gabrielle thought, he was liable to find some kind of trouble -- with no Xena to bail him out. What if some day, Xena returned to Megara and ...

Memory yanked her back to the awful night when they stood by two funeral pyres, and Xena said quietly, the wet streaks on her face glistening in the reflection of the flames, "My son is dead because of you." Because of me. My lie, my stubborn recklessness. Miraculously, after being nearly destroyed by hate, they had found forgiveness; but would her guilt in Solan's death come back to haunt them if Xena lost someone else she cared about -- because of her? No, that was ridiculous. What were they supposed to do, babysit Ares for the rest of his life? Dying in battle was a risk she and Xena faced all the time; why should it be any different for him? Besides, he had survived just fine without them for months. He'd manage again.

They rode out into a sun-flooded field. Pale yellow butterflies wove over the tall grass laced with blue wildflowers; the air was filled with the whirr of grasshoppers and the ecstatic trilling of birds. The main road was visible in the distance, with a few toy-like riders and horse-carts going by. In another couple of hours, they'd be entering the city. Gabrielle wondered when Xena was going to tell Ares. Would she wait until they got to Megara? Until she was alone with him?

"Ares.”

Xena's voice was quiet and flat, as expressionless as her face. Gabrielle glanced at her -- they were riding side by side now, with Xena in the middle -- and saw her upper lip quiver very slightly; her eyes were lowered and half-veiled, her hands clutching Argo's reins a little tighter than necessary. And then she felt Xena's agony, felt it physically and acutely, as a pang that ripped through her mind and her gut.

"Gabrielle and I were talking...”

Gabrielle closed her eyes for an instant. Then she glanced at Ares; he was staring at Xena, his lips slightly parted, his features sharpened by anxiety.

No, she wasn't going to lose Xena. But, but -- she had told herself before that if she ever put her foot down and told Xena to end it, something precious and irretrievable between them would end too. That hadn't changed. In some way, she was asserting a property right; and true love knew nothing of property rights. Xena had to make her choice freely, not be forced to rip out a piece of her heart. There had to be some other way out.

Xena was saying, "We were thinking that when we get to Megara, you should -- “

Gabrielle cut in. She spoke hurriedly, and it gave her voice a harsh edge.

"We think you should sell off some of your stuff.”

Xena whipped around and stared at her in disbelief. Ares' jaw trembled; he took a few deep breaths, then said quietly, "What?”

Already, Gabrielle was cursing her own stupidity. Ares would have laughed his head off at her high-minded musings about love and freedom, and he would have been right -- the bastard.

"Sell some of your jewelry. It's worth a lot of money, you know. If you're going to travel with us, you ought to start paying your way.”

"Oh really." He glowered at her. "Well, I have an even better idea. Why don't you take me down to the slave market -- I bet I'd fetch a fair price." He kicked Dragon in the sides with an angry "Yah!" and took off at a gallop, riding toward the road.

Gabrielle lowered her eyes and let out a long breath.

"Gabrielle...”

She looked up. Xena's eyes were shiny, either with agitation or with tears.

"Are you sure?”

"Yeah." Gabrielle twitched her lips, trying to smile. Xena leaned forward, reached out and touched her face, and her smile was so tender, so wistfully luminous that Gabrielle's heart swelled with love and longing. Xena's thumb brushed her cheek, and Gabrielle realized she was crying.

"Xena -- I don't want to force you...”

"But I can't force you to go along with this.”

This time, she did smile, shaking her head and taking Xena's hand. "You're not forcing me to do anything. It's my choice. I know we'll work it out." She sighed. "I love you, Xena.”

Xena's fingers squeezed hers.

"I love you too.”

Gabrielle wasn't sure how long they stayed like that, holding hands, looking into each other's eyes. Then, they rode ahead to catch up with Ares.